A Post In Which I Explain Why Narwhals Are Better Than Unicorns And Kill Three People

Introduction

Catching up on recent book tags, and hence the second tag in a row ;D

Thanks for Faith and Sarah over at Sublime Reads for nominating me for this award (technically called the Sisterhood of the World Book Tag but also I technically can’t be a sister. Sorry) and an even bigger shoutout to them for giving me actual interesting, fun to do questions. Huge, philosophical life questions such as: Narwhal or Unicorn? (Narwhal btw but you’ll find out enough soon).

The Questions

If you had to advertise your blog to a stranger using only one sentence and either the word “star”, “ketchup”, or “my brother’s/sister’s [insert noun]”, what would your sentence be?

Okay I’ve spent a while thinking about this and I’ve realised that the only way I can do this question justice is if I do a sentence including all three words/phrases. And that sentence is:

If my brother’s favourite star in the galaxy ate past-expiry-date ketchup, it would spit out this blog.

I’m actually so happy with that response. Onto question 2!

Real-life narwhals or magical unicorns?

Narwhals, because narwhals are weird and mysterious and can impale you if they want to but unicorns are too kind and would probably heal you if you accidentally threw yourself onto their horn in a fit of despair.

If you were in the Hunger Games with all the fictional characters that you despised the most, what would be your initial reaction?

Hehehehe… hehe. This is my favourite question out of the whole batch. And it’s great, because the Hunger Games is such a great excuse to kill someone without going into jail. The following characters are in no particular order.

Clary Fray: I would take a paperback of her autobiography and slap this girl fifty billion times until the skin started peeling off her face and she died of pain and blood loss (… that turned out more gory than I expected). You know why this is appropriate? Because when you slap everybody for saving your life, it doesn’t make you a strong, independent woman, it makes you a deranged psycho. Oh and what’s that? You ask about her autobiography? This:

41nMe8FbgxL._SX325_BO1,204,203,200_

Mrs Trunchbull: This evil thing needs to be imprisoned into a rotten tree trunk until she died of starvation with only one leg left because the bats nibbled away at the other. (This is sure getting violent… hehehe.)

Nathaniel Sorrows: Not going to say what book he’s from, due to spoilers (google him if you wish), but damn I have never hated a book character as much as I hate this disgusting excuse of a man. DISGUSTING. Any death is not good enough for this man.

Have you heard of/watched Korean dramas? There really are some great ones out there! So if you answered no, in the off-chance that you were absolutely free from work, would you give one a shot? If yes, which one is your favourite?

No I don’t watch Korean dramas. I feel like I should start though. I watch enough anime already though.

Make up a short summary for a debuting novel titled, “The 5th Save”!

By the 5th time Dylan has drawn Marie from the dark and murky depths of the Targorie Beach, saving her life yet again, he’s sure that at this point, she’s just purposely attempting to drown so her can save her. Surely there are less dramatic ways of flirting.

The tale of two star[fish] crossed lovers, The 5th Save is a poignant and beautiful story about young love, falling in love, and how to flirt while drowning.

Quick: Say “Irish wristwatch” 5 times fast! Could you do it? 😛

Me: Irish wish was, I wish ris wash, Irish rish watch, I wish ris rosh, Irish wrist wrosh.

Mum: Hey, are you okay there?

Me: Yeah I’m fine thanks. Just committing verbal seppuku.

320px-Takatoyo_seppuku

What would you do if you became your favourite fictional character for a day? (Either in their world or in the real world. Or you could do both!)

I’m basing this not on my favourite character but on the character it would be best to be (I mean, Katniss Everdeen’s arena is hardly a good place for me to be). So Harry Potter is the obvious next choice. I would probably spend all day in the library though.

You accidentally time-traveled back into the time of dinosaurs! If you had a choice of either immediately returning home or staying (to study them as much as you can and to be the first modern day dinosaur witness!) and learning to survive for at least 2 years, which one would you pick?

Pfft. Immediately return home. Obviously. I can’t even go ten minutes of no internet without a mental breakdown.

Here is a classic “would you rather”: Would you rather have a spray that could make all of your books waterproof or have one book of your choice with the ablility to fangirl/boy along with you while you read?

THE SPRAY. Coz then I could take my books basically everywhere. I could go scuba diving and be reading. I could have a shower and be reading. I could go swimming and be reading. And most importantly, I can protect my books from my tears.

If you could only say one sentence to Harry Potter, what would it be? (If you already answered this from our last awards post, answer it again! Or you could just say the same thing you did last time… no worries!)

I’d just end up joining on a whole lot of sentences to the things I would want to ask him and passing it off as one sentence. Like:

Hi Harry Potter, I think you’re a great person and a great wizard, and you’re also pretty good at casting spells, although Hermione is better than you, and also, while we’re on the topic of spell casting, how do you cast a spell, because I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time but I always have trouble due to this damn non-magic world I live in, which – I know right, it’s so annoying and – oh I have another thing to ask you as well, have you ever woken up some days and stolen some makeup from Hermione to cover that lightning scar, say on prom or anything, coz I’m sure it would make you feel self conscious right, and also…

You get the point. It’s technically one sentence.

Who do I tag

You know what I’ve decided to do? I’ve decided not to tag a specific group of people.

Instead, I’m going to tag you.

Yep, you right there, sitting there in your PJs reading my blog. Do you have a blog too? Well then, consider yourself tagged. Drop me a comment, please, if you’re doing it!

My Questions/Actions

  1. Spicy food. Yay or nay?
  2. What do YA books need more of? (Insert rant)
  3. You are in the Hunger Games with the three characters you hate the most. What do you do (just had to steal this one off Faith, it was way too good)
  4. Super hot or super cold?
  5. On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate people who say: “Bob and me” rather than “Bob and I”
  6. How many times in your life have you worn a horse mask (google it)?
  7. Name one book that is a strong independent book who ain’t need no man.
  8. Open up 50 Shades of Grey to a random page and post the first thing you see. If you don’t have it, open up the book you’re currently reading (50SOG is funnier though)
  9. On a scale of one to ten, how likely are you to feed non-Harry Potter fans to hungry pigs? (Hungry pigs will completely digest a human body in about an hour – hair and all and don’t ask me how I know this)
  10. Explain why Harry Potter didn’t just drink good luck potion and go kill Voldemort.

Did you like this post? Do me a favour and tweet about it! I’ve even prepared a tweet for you, so all you need to do is go ahead and click this little guy’s face right below 😛 Thank you so much!
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25 thoughts on “A Post In Which I Explain Why Narwhals Are Better Than Unicorns And Kill Three People

  1. hahaha oh my goodness your answer to that first question was nothing short of epic! And I liked your picks for characters to kill- I used to not mind Clary but I’ve *completely* gone off her lately- that book choice for her was excellent! Hilarious post!
    Yay to spicy food, some YA books need more clarity, ooh that question is so good! America Singer can be the first to go, then Bella Swan/Ana Steele (they’re the same person!), followed by the main character in 99 days cos I still haven’t forgotten how much I hate her!- I realise I’ve not gone for any actually villainous characters, but a) I actually enjoy hating them and b) I reckon I could take this lot easily. Super hot. Quite a bit- but I hate people that say Bob and I in the context where Bob and me is correct, eg
    This is right: Bob and I went to the sea.
    This is wrong: Bob and me went to the sea.
    This is also right: I heard them talking about Bob and me.
    This is soooo wrong: I heard them talking about Bob and I. (Arghhhhhhhhhh it hurts my brain so much) I mean, the rule is if you take “Bob” out of the sentence, the sentence should still be correct- why can’t people learn this????
    Okay, enough now- rant over. (Funnily enough that isn’t even my biggest grammar pet peeve thing I hate most is when people use myself incorrectly- for instance there are people out there who say “Bob and myself went to the sea/I heard them talking about Bob and myself” I. Can’t. Even. Deal. With. That.)
    Okaaaay so now I’ve cleared all that up, I’ve never worn a horse mask. And I don’t own a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey- and if I did, I’d probably use it for kindling.
    Haha not that likely- I like Harry Potter (please don’t feed me to hungry pigs) but I’m not a diehard potterhead- more a nostalgic-this-is-the-first-big-book-I-ever-read-so-I-am-internally-indebted-to-it fan- definitely not the feeding people to pigs kind of fan- if that makes sense? (gosh I can’t believe how hard I worked just there to justify not feeding people to pigs!!!) (also I knew that fact from a movie called Snatch I think)
    See I will never know the answer to number 10- it’s probably why I’m not a superfan- kidding!! Kidding! Please don’t feed me to pigs!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Please don’t feed me to the pigs” seems to be a common line amongst this post comments thread *smiles menacingly*

      RELEASE THE PIGS

      Ahem.

      Thanks so much for doing that. I’m glad you enjoyed the post! And ermagord how annoying is “Bob and I” “Bob and me” and I have to say that – thank god – I have never heard of “Bob and myself”. It pains me slightly less when people use “Bob and I” incorrectly as opposed to when they use “Bob and me” incorrectly because “Bob and I” shows that at least they’re making an effort to be grammatically correct even if they aren’t.

      And ARGH the other one is “your” and “you’re”. I REALLY don’t get this one. IT’S NOT HARD. REALLY. IT ISN’T. I didn’t even realise it was possible to make a mistake like this until I saw it around on the internet.

      Anyway. Thanks for your comment 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Alex

    YOU, MY BOY, IS THE REASON WHY I HAVE HOPE TO SURVIVE IN THIS TREACHEROUS WORLD OF BLOGGING. YOUR ANSWERS AMAZE ME BEYOND BELIEF (nice summary for the 5th save, btw) THIS POST IS FANTASTIC!

    *stops yelling in caps*

    I might do this tag, looks fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wait wait TREACHEROUS??? ╰(◣﹏◢)╯ WHO HAS BEEN HURTING MY ALEX??

      *lines up gun* ( -_・) ︻デ═一 ▸

      No but seriously though. Blogging should never be treacherous. Here, have a hug (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

      (You can tell that I have a text emoticons tab open up as well)

      Also THANK YOU SO MUCH. I was really happy with the 5th Save as well XD

      ƪ(˘⌣˘)┐ ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ ┌(˘⌣˘)ʃ

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: A Post In Which I Explain Why Narwhals Are Better Than Unicorns And Kill Three People – lalalandgirlblog

  4. AHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH MUST GO HIDE IT AWAY IN MY NOT-SO-SECRET-BUT-STILL-VERY-GUARDED HIDEY HOLE. Anyway, the thing with:
    “And it’s great, because the Hunger Games is such a great excuse to kill someone without going into jail,” pretty much much made me love you. Your logic is inarguably flawless. And if I were you, I was going to pick the book to fangirl with you as you read, but then your genius reminded me that waterproofing keeps the beautiful book from MY TEARS! *sniffs* someone here is smarter than me…… *sniffs more* And The 5th Save? THAT’S TOTALLY ME AT THE BEACH WITH A HOT LIFEGUARD THERE. I’d always be “drowning” right during his one hour shift from 10 AM to 11 AM…..pshhh NO I COULDN’T DROWN AT ANY OTHER TIME FOR FOUR TIMES IN A ROW NO WAY! Anyway, i love this post. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. BWAHAHHA YOU ARE SO NICE!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! And yes, I’m very happy with my response to the 5th Save XD THANK YOU AGAIN!

      And also, I tried to comment on your blog a few days ago but I’m not sure if it worked or not. I tried to log in with my WordPress account but I don’t think the comment registered? 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My Blogger blog? Or my WordPress blog? Well my wordpress blog was started really only because, well, *glances away guiltily*, the Nucleare theme (with the font Karla) is just so PRETTY! And I needed a WordPress to comment on yours! Blogger (http://akisstoya.blogspot.com) uses Google accounts, so if you don’t have one, well I know your comment is there in spirit! 🙂 It’s the thought that counts!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The Blogger blog! It sign in with my google account and it just brings me to the “preview comment” page. I’ll have to try again. I CALL RACISM. WORDPRESS/BLOGGER DISCRIMINATION! (And yes how nice is Nucleare. Loving the Lovecraft theme as well though (my current theme))

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Alrighty, are you ready for me to write a book right here? I’m going to be the try hard of the century (but it still won’t be enough) in order to make sure that my comment doesn’t exceed the limit for people to start hating my guts. (I have a weird guilty conscience. Don’t ask.) Also, don’t get creeped out but uh, here’s a comment quoted from Sarah’s message exactly: “OH MY LORD PAUL IS LIIIIIFE”. She told me to tell you. Anyways… here’s a list:
    1) First answer: gotta admit, pretty accurate. I’ll testify!!
    2) Whoever says narwhals over unicorns is immediately on good terms with me. Achievement unlocked: You’ve just won some… positivity? idek NARWHALS FTW.
    3) You know what’s another way to kill someone without going to jail? Causing someone to die of laughter… or from the morbidity. And I’ll let you take my question as long as I’m allowed to hire you to murder a few of my despised characters.
    4) Okay, so here’s the thing. As of now, I don’t anime. Between books, blogging, dramas. and my disappointing embarrassment of a life, I’m going to become a 100% full-time recluse. I’M ON MY WAY THERE- I don’t need the extra “help”. XD You know we could switch suggestions for animes and kdramas, if you know what I mean.
    So that was part 1. LOL MY COMMENT WAS LEGIT TOO LONG. My brain couldn’t handle not spewing out nonsense so this happened. Yeah. I scare people this way. *bangs head on table repeatedly* (Uh would you still want part 2?? 😀 I know I’m horrifying but try not to be too terrified!!)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. YES YES PART TWO give it to me or I will feed you to hungry pigs XD (for some reason that’s turned into my generic threat now). And you should totally hire me to murder your despised characters. I have very reasonable rates 😉

      And it’s okay if you DON’T ANIME at the moment. Key words: AT THE MOMENT, right??? *threatening smile*

      And if you die from laughing it’s not my fault. Just sayin’. Just in case ;D

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You said it, not me. 😉 Here was my reaction to you responding to the comment after like 2 days: AHA the Paul has spoken – MY FAITH IN HUMANITY has been restored!! My comment was so long I HAD TO SAVE IT IN A GOOGLE DOCS AHAHA SAVE ME NOW. Basically, Imma bring on the caps lock.

        You know what, do try feeding me to the pigs… I’d probably just fit right in with my failure of a life. XD (You’re like “Did she just call herself a pig??” Uh kind of.)

        Yeah… I’m not anime-ing at the moment. Sooo – HEY CHECK OUT THAT DUST ON MY WINDOWSILL OVER THERE ISN’T IT AWESOME??? *runs away and grabs magical water gun on the way out*

        I mean technically it wouldn’t be your fault but WHAT IF I’m my own despised character (refer to pig comment) and I HIRED YOU to kill me with laughs??? So in the end everything would’ve been your fault. #MINDBLOWN Except as of now, you’re safe. Also, if you charge more than a cent per hour, sorry I won’t be able to afford it. ):

        Continuation:
        5) The 5th Save: THIS IS GOLDEN. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. And I probably laughed way harder than I should’ve. Marie is creative, wow. If I ever know anyone desperate to drown in an attempt to flirt, I will be sure to ask for your love advice. This is like top notch skillz. Btw please write a short story, I WOULD SO READ IT.
        6) The Irish wristwatch (sheesh I can barely even type it) thing: I can definitely see it. I laughed so hard my dad was like “What is it? What’s happening??” I’m like “Don’t worry about it. JUST DON’T YOU WON’T GET IT.” Then I just left to a parent-question-free zone.
        7) Okay can’t comment to all of them. So. THE SPRAY. I’VE BEEN WANTING THIS SINCE I WAS BORN. When I was 7 I was thinking about making this plastic cover slip ons that you’d put onto every single page of your book but then I realized that every book has different page sizes. And I didn’t even think about time consumption. XD
        8) Ahh, technicalities. I’m sure Harry will appreciate your run-on sentence. He probably has experienced enough running from bad guys anyways to keep up with your inner fanboy. 😛 The makeup thing though ahahaha we’ll never know the truth. DANG IT.
        9) I HATE IT when Sarah says “me and Faith”… like PUH-LEASEEEEEEEEEEEE. Get a grammar. THE IRONY right there.)
        Basically, FANTASTICAL POST RIGHT HERE. I should frame it on my wall. (Highly considering). Buuuuuuuuut I have to say, half of the fantasticalness probably came from my amazing question asking skills. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        1. AAAAHH I’M SO SORRY FOR SUCH A DELAY IT”S LITERALLY BEEN TWO DAYS THAT IS BASICALLY FOREVER I MUST BE FED TO THE PIGS ಥ_ಥ

          And YES I was SO HAPPY with The 5th Save response. I was like: “YES I FOUND THE PERFECT RESPONSE”

          And also “not anime-ing” does not exist. You are always anime-ing

          *innocent smile while holding guns*

          ‘ ̿’\̵͇̿̿\з=(◕‿◕)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿

          And duh. What is a good response without good questions? Thanks for those! (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

          I really need to stop using these text emoji thingies.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Me as the hypothetical older sibling: YOU’D BETTER BE SORRY BECAUSE WHAT’S LITERALLY SO CONVENIENT IS THAT MY ROOM’S A PIGSTY SO FEEDING YOU TO THE PIGS IS A MORE REALISTIC OPTION THAN YOU THINK. (Also spamming the caps lock should be considered a skill.)

            Just to reiterate what you just said (for The 5th Save): IT WAS A PERFECT RESPONSE. It’s like kinda funnily morbid. Like my sad soul.

            Um. Wait. Should I not even be here… maybe now would be a good time to leave with the guns and all. *Faith suddenly drops from a hole in the ceiling and knocks the guns onto the floor with her awesome ninja moves then realizes that the guns are actually plastic. She can’t contain her laughter so she smirks into the pillow that she brought as a shield.* (YA SEE I’m already a bestselling author.)

            Btw you’re welcome for the questions. 😀 They were specially made for the odd people in the universe.

            YOOOO SHOW ME YOUR EMOJI TEXT WAYS. HOWWWW DO YOU DO IT. Like this is all I can do. >-<
            (Important: I should get a book on how to anime and how to end comment chains 101. Important #2: Can you tell the difference between Sarah/myself if we don't write our names? I'm just curious cuz I actually don't know. WATCH HOW I'M NOT EVEN A REAL PERSON. *gasps*)

            Liked by 1 person

              1. OHHHH that’s cool. (ノ◕ヮ◕) ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

                Wait, wait. WHAT WAS THAT HESITATION THERE?! Ok I can kind of see what you mean but now I know that I have to be more… boring. Not that Sarah’s boring but I’m a bit too un-boring. WHAT. ⚆ _ ⚆ Here’s Sarah’s response (which is the exact opposite of what I said): “TELL HIM SARAH IS HURT. HURT. And totally giving side-eyes and will stalk him for the rest of his life.” (I’m not sure what that was supposed to mean but uh… just go with it.)
                ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ (Like Sarah’s comment, idk what this emoji thingy is supposed to mean but just go with it. It looks like a row of potatoes.)

                Liked by 1 person

                1. SARAH, SARAH, SARAH IT’S OKAY! I didn’t mean it like that. As Faith said: it’s not that you’re boring, it’s just that Faith is too un-boring. Here, have a hug (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ And I don’t even know what that emoji is meant to look like. Maybe they’re actually meant to be potatoes?

                  And also I have this morbid fear of half the emoji cutting off and going to the next line and the receiver only seeing half a jumbled face *hyperventilates* which is why I usually put the lengthier ones on new lines

                  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Sarah says: A) >_> B) If you want my forgiveness you must sacrifice many, many books to me. OR I WILL HACK YOUR TWITTER and show you who really is the boring one
                    C) I actually don’t know how to hack twitter so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (F: Apparently that’s a shrug emoji. Sometimes learning emoji is like learning another language. Since when were emotions so hard to read?? Oh right, always.)
                    ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

                    SO MUCH TRUTH THOUGH. I mean what would happen if – (._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)(._.) ( l: ) ( .-. ) ( :l ) (._.)
                    Uh, whoops? (´・ω・`) No but seriously, I get your emojis-cutting-off pain. I just wanted to troll.
                    ◔ ⌣ ◔
                    (Sorry having too much fun with dem emojis if you can’t tell. Maybe you shouldn’t have introduced me to these things.)

                    Liked by 1 person

  6. Fun post! Great responses to the questions. I might consider doing the tag since I have never done one! also does it count if not the biggest Harry Potter fan *hides face* I mean I like the series but I am not exactly crazy about it. I might be one of the people that will be fed to the pigs….. (please don’t hurt me *cowering in the corner*)

    Liked by 1 person

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